It's been a long time...

It's been a long time since I have posted anything on my blog...I can't believe how much has happened since last time I posted...but I plan on starting up again!  I need to introduce little man #3 who joined our family this past May!  His birth story...coming soon!

How do I love thee...

To my husband:  

As our 7th anniversary draws near, I wanted to tell you how happy I am to be your wife.  I feel like God brought you into my life at just the right time and had you save me from myself!  While these last 7 years have not always been easy, I can say, I feel our marriage just keeps getting better and better.  

You do your best to be the spiritual leader of our house. 

You support me in my business and personal efforts. 

You LOVE our children and show it through your play and discipline.  

You have worked hard over the last few years towards completing your degree so you can make a better life for us.  

You are always planning for OUR future!  

You do all the meal planning, cooking, and most of the grocery shopping.  

You get the boys ready in the morning, and are Mr. mom 3 days a week.  

You've stuck with me even through my "crazy" times.  

You have loved me through "thin" and "thick".  

You build me AWESOME computers. 

You support my love of photography and continually upgrade my camera equipment.  

You buy me flip flops when we are on a date and my "sexy" heels are killing my feet.  

You pray for me and encourage me to bring my fears and worries to God.  

You are my very BEST friend and I can't imagine life without you. 

Thank you for loving me for me and for making my dreams come true!

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.

I love thee to the level of everyday's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;

I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.

I love thee with a passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death."

-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

Making the minutes count!

So I have been really struggling with feelings of guilt lately over being away from my kids for over 40 hrs a week...especially if one of them cries when I leave:(  But as my husband always says, I just need to make the time we are together really count... which is hard to do after you come home from a stressful day of work!  I was lucky enough to be a stay at home mom for almost 3 years. I would be perfectly happy to be a stay at home mom now...but this is what I need to be doing for my family.  Most days I feel like I'm not able to do anything well...that I'm only able to do enough to stay afloat...clothes get washed but never put away, put out all the "fires" at work but never get ahead, only get to read 1 book with the kids instead of as many as they want...I often feel like a failure...as a wife, as a mother, and an employee.  But then I remember that I can't do any of these things alone no matter how hard I try. The only way I am ever able to succeed at anything I do is with God's help. So to all the other working mom's out there who feel like they are failing...give it to God!  You can't do it in your own strength but with God's help, ALL things are possible!


 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”

                                                                    -Matthew 19:26

These little men bring laughter, tears, fun, and joy to our lives!  

I feel so privileged to be a mother!

I'm still here... PART 1

The transition to mommy of two has been wonderful and exhausting and hasn't left me much time to be on the computer.  But my goal is to start posting at least once a week!

6 months ago today, Autrey Joseph entered the world.  I can't believe how quickly the time has gone by.

  (I'll post some 6 month photos soon)

I recently went back to work 20-30 hrs a week.  This has left me with basically NO time to myself.  I don't know how mom's do 40+ hours a week outside the home!  The only way this is possible is because we have been blessed with an incredible babysitter.  When my old boss approached me about coming back to work, I didn't know how I would work out childcare.  Daycare is not an option we were interested in.  We knew the only way it would work is if we were able to find someone willing to come to the house.  Jackson started Preschool 2 days a week last August and we were able to enroll him for 4 days a week.  So that left who would care for my sweet baby Autrey.  God brought Ann's name to mind so I sent her a quick email just to see if by some strange chance she would be interested.  She is Jackson's Sunday School teacher at church and last year retired as the Director of the Preschool he attends.  Well it turns out she had been praying about a part-time job!  She only lives a few minutes from our house so it works out great!  She watches Autrey everyday for a few hours and then has both boys for a couple hours after Preschool.  I know I don't have to worry at all when she is with the boys.  They are safe and loved!  

How awesome, that God cares about even the smaller details in our lives:) 

What was I worried about:)?

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes?

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life 

"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.

Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

Matthew 6:25-30

And then there were two...

Becoming a mother of two has been a thrilling and exhausting experience.  I thought I was busy with one kid...what was I thinking!?  The only reason my family has been fed and clean for the last month is because my mom is here...I'm not sure how I will survive once she leaves:(  Luckily Autrey is a very good baby and so far Jackson really loves him, lots of hugs and kisses.  Having a newborn and a 2 year old presents a lot of challenges...especially in the discipline department.   Jackson is like most 2 year olds and into everything.  Telling him to stop or leave something alone is not usually enough.  I have to make him obey.  This is a challenge while breastfeeding.  It's also hard to have one on one time with Jackson when Autrey takes up so much of my time right now.  I've made it a priority to try and spend quality time with Jackson everyday.  This is another thing that will be more difficult once my mother leaves.  Phillip's classes start next week, so the kids and I will be on our own a lot.  Despite the challenges, becoming a family of 4 has been amazing. 

Today I used my Moby Wrap for the first time to take Jackson to the playground.  I have a feeling the Moby will be an everyday essential! Here are some photos from our little adventure today:)

  

Jackson is running around destroying things so that's it for now:)

Autrey's Birth Story...Read at your own risk!

CAUTION!  If you had a super long, difficult, painful labor and delivery you may not want to read this post.  If you choose to read this post, keep in mind that I spent the first 17 weeks of my pregnancy REALLY sick!

Sunday 7/24/11   I'm officially 38 weeks pregnant and not very happy about it.  Autrey is really low and my back, hips, basically everything aches.  I spend most of Sunday morning having contractions and feeling miserable.  The contractions never get closer together and eventually go away so no baby:(

Monday 7/25/11  Jackson wakes up before 6am...I think it was around 5:00am or 5:30am.  Bad start to the day:(  Phillip leaves for work around 7:30 and I get ready for my 9:30 Dr's appointment.  This is my first appointment where my Dr. is going to do a pelvic exam.  I'm hoping to hear that I am at least a little dilated and on my way...and ready to beg my Dr. to put me out of my misery.  My dad stays home with a cranky and tired Jackson and my mom and I head to my Dr's appointment. 

My appointment starts out the same as any other prenatal appointment.  I close my eyes while the nurse weighs me (cause I really just don't want to know), I pee in a cup, and then go to the exam room.  My Dr. comes in and takes my fundal measurement, and listens to the babies heartbeat.  Then it's time for the dreaded pelvic.  As my Dr. is examining me he starts making faces and says, "You said you've been having contractions?"  Which makes me think, crap...I'm not dilated at all!  I tell him about having them on and off for the last couple weeks.  When he finishes the exam, he asks me if I came to the appointment alone. I tell him my mom is in the waiting room. "Good, cause you are going to the hospital.  You are 6 cm dilated." He wasn't sure what he was going to do with me because I didn't appear to be in active labor, but he couldn't send me home 6cm dilated when I live a good way from the hospital.  So he tells me to head to the hospital and he'll call ahead and let them know I'm coming. 

So mom and I head to the hospital and I call Phillip so he can meet us there.  He has to go home first and get my bag and the camera. We get to the hospital around 11am. Once I get in my room at the hospital the nurse has me put on a gown and then hooks me up to the fetal monitor and the monitor that tracks your contractions.  She needed to track my contractions for 20 min to see if I'm really in labor.  My contractions were 2-5 min apart but they weren't really painful, just uncomfortable.  This was SO different from my labor with Jackson. (You can read about that here Jackson's Birth Story) 

Phillip arrived about 11:30am.

The nurse calls my Dr. and lets him know how far apart my contractions are (2-5min) and then he asks her to check me and then call him back.  So she checks me and thinks I'm 9 cm dilated!  So she asks another nurse for her opinion, and she agrees 9cm, so they get a third opinion.  She thinks I'm 6-7 cm dilated.  (For those of you who have had babies you know this is not a fun experience!)  They are all trying to be careful because they are nervous about breaking my water.  They all think as soon as my water breaks the baby is going to come very quickly.  They tell me my Dr. is headed over.  My Dr. arrives around noon and after he checks me he decides I'm about 8cm dilated. 

Around 12:30 he breaks my water. Within 15 min I start having REALLY painful contractions.  The rest is a little bit of a blur but before too long I start having the urge to push.  My Dr. comes back in and checks me again and tells me the baby is "sunnyside up" (face up instead of face down) so they have me roll to my side to see if the baby will turn at all.  They aren't sure he will because his head is pretty much already lodged in the birth canal.  Then the urge to push is so strong there is no more breathing through it.  They have me roll back over and at 1:48pm after about 10 min of pushing (sorry everyone who had to push for a long time) Autrey Joseph Boykin was born! Everyone in the room was saying what a big boy he was.  You didn't have to tell me that!  I knew he was a big baby!  My Dr. put him on my chest and the nurse worked on drying him off while I finally got to see my new baby boy.  He had a lot of hair which was pretty exciting to me since Jackson was pretty much bald for the first 18 months of his life:)  Phillip didn't want to cut the cord so my mom did it (I cut Jackson's).

Once again God blessed me with an amazing birth...not too long...no drugs of any kind...and a healthy baby and mommy.  Both times I have been amazed with the feeling that God created my body to do this and so thrilled that I was able to do it with no drugs and pretty much no intervention. (I know this is only because my labors are so short.  I wouldn't be able to endure that for hours and hours and I don't fault anyone who has an epidural, etc.).  My Dr. is very much a supporter of doing it naturally and didn't even have the nurse put in an IV.  He also didn't have them give me the shot of pitocin they normally give to help with the afterbirth.  I really appreciate that about him.  Being able to do this all naturally really helps my recovery. 

Within an hour of Autrey being born they move us upstairs to the maternity floor and the room that would be our home for the next two nights.  Jackson and my dad were at home with no vehicle so Phillip went home to get them.

We are now a family of 4 and I couldn't be happier. 

Autrey is a really good baby and I can't imagine life without him!

The last few weeks...

So a lot has happened in the last few weeks and I haven't been very good about blogging so time to catch up.  My parents arrived on July 9th which was just in time.  I was starting to feel pretty miserable at that point and REALLY happy to have the help! 

Jackson is having SO much fun with his grandparents!  My mom and I spent a lot of time going to baby consignment stores, Goodwill, Ross, etc... to get everything ready for the baby.  I love finding treasures at REALLY great prices!  This also helped keep my mind off of how uncomfortable I was.  Autrey was running out of room and I was VERY achy!





37 weeks pregnant...Jackson was born at 36 weeks 4 days so at this point I'm feeling HUGE and overdue and REALLY ready for Autrey to get here. 

  

At 37 1/2 weeks my mom did a little photoshoot for me...I was hoping I wouldn't be pregnant much longer so we were thinking we wouldn't have much more time to document my belly.  I had been having painful contractions on and off for almost 2 weeks at that point.

 My 38 week check-up was scheduled for Monday 7/25 at 9:30 am and I was really hoping that the Dr. would tell me that all my discomfort and painful contractions had been working and that I was at least a little dilated. 

 I was going to be really discouraged if he told me I wasn't progressing at all...

to be continued...